So apparently, I have made a huge faux-pas and not ‘credited’ someone in my retweets and reblogs. Despite the fact that my reblog clearly stated “reblogged from……” And my retweets clearly showed the source. Because it was a RE-tweet, right?
Well, I’m very sorry. Sorry that you’re offended. Not because of what I did. Because that’s your problem and not mine. If you have nothing else to do all day but constantly be tweeting and writing articles, I’m very happy for you, In my world, life is not about taking the credit for what you do, but understanding how much someone else benefits from what you do. Your inflated ego is of no interest to me whatsoever. I don’t care about Twitter ‘etiquette’ – give me a break!
I am educated and understanding of the fact that true, evidence-based writing is valid and deserving of referencing. but please, a blog on a niche topic about which you profess to know all (but are not legitimately qualified in) and deign to share your ‘advice’ with the rest of the world is not really of academic stature is it?
Anyway, rant over.
My actual topic is around people being offended.
Offended by your loved one behaving strangely or inappropriately.
Offended by your apparent blase attitude when it happens.
Offended simply by the fact that they are embarrassed for you and by your loved one.
Don’t care. Please don’t care. If your FTD’er isn’t hurting anyone or themself, social embarrassment is the problem of the observer, not you or your spouse/friend/parent.
I experienced many occasions when my husband’s behavior was just not okay. But he wasn’t stealing, or being rude or hurting anyone. He was just being himself. The new him that I loved just as much as the old him. Just doing what comes naturally. Usually, our social norms and mores take over and dictate how we behave. In FTD though, the development of these skills not only diminishes, but disappears altogether. Until we are left with a 3-year old version of the man/woman that we have loved for so long.
Imagine taking a 3-year old to the movies, or the supermarket or a friend’s house. You don’t expect them to behave perfectly the whole time you are out do you? No, you make allowances. And so do other people. But when your 3-year old is disguised as a 55-year old man, the allowances tend to disappear. As if somehow,you can control your 3-year old Boomer and stop the bad behavior.
It’s just ignorance. Lack of awareness of what’s going on out there. The typical societal response. “If it’s not happening to me , then it’s not happening”
You’ll notice I said “societal response”, not human response. Humanity is not the same as Society. We (especially women) are conditioned to never offend others, be respectful, be “nice”. But our very ‘humanness” is what enables us to take care of our loved ones – through thick and thin, “In sickness and in health, til’ death us do part”. Not societal edicts.
The ignorance is astounding, yes. But what is worse is that even when there is knowledge and information, ‘people’ still want to look the other way. It makes them uncomfortable, seeing ‘less-than-perfect’ human beings. Any parent of a handicapped child will tell you that. Anyone in a wheelchair will tell you that. Sometimes I am ashamed to be part of this race we call ‘human’.
Our society is obsessed with perfection. But perfection is conjured up by human frailty and inadequacy. As a defense against it. The fear of being, seeing or experiencing anything less strikes the fear of God into the hearts of many people.
I don’t care. I don’t care that they think my husband, grandchild, friend, parent, whoever is offensive.
I think they are offensive. Offensive to the true human race. Not the fake one. Not the Hollywood/TV/music world one.
The real one.
The one where people actually love other people for who they are. No matter what happens to them. No matter how their disease forces them to behave. No matter what affliction they have been handed.
So, if my love offends you? Guess what?